Confronting Death, Onion Style

Passing Of Ohio Man Forces Nation To Confront Death For First Time


MARION, OH—Following the passing of 82-year-old Joseph Howerton Saturday, the American people were, for the very first time, forced to confront the reality that death is an inevitable part of life that one day awaits us all.

While sources confirmed that the nation's 311 million residents were aware of death as a basic concept, the demise of Ohio retiree Howerton reportedly marked the first instance in which death became fully real to the U.S. populace, and not simply an abstract idea removed from their own lives.

"When I heard that [Howerton] died, it suddenly occurred to me for the first time that, 'Oh, my God, everybody dies, and once they do, they don’t come back,'" said Philadelphia real estate agent Tom Marsh, 52, describing a reaction shared by every other person in the country within hours of the news that Howerton had passed away. "Sure, I'd heard about people dying and seen it in movies and books and stuff, but I never had to come to grips with it until now."

"We're all going to end up like Joseph Howerton," concurred Phoenix-area factory worker Tami Weiss, 31, shaking her head slowly in apparent shock. "My parents, my friends, everyone. Even me."

finish reading here

Faith Restored

I bought a phone off of Craigslist from a guy named Alex. His ad stated "brand new in box" so, not wanting to muck up the packaging, I didn't open the box til I got home. Turns out there was no packaging, and several of the accessories were missing. The phone was not new -- it was worn, damaged, and not working.

Buyer Beware is the motto for Craigslist users, and I knew I had no recourse other than to ask for a refund and hope that Alex had a shred of decency. I lucked out. He refunded my money, and in doing so, restored my fragile faith in humanity. At least for the time being. Thanks, Alex.

Yet, what does it say about our society when someone becomes a hero just for doing the right thing?

Town Without Pity

How can we keep love alive, How can anything survive, When these little minds tear you in two
No, it isn't very pretty what a town without pity can do

And dig this instrumental version from the late great Ronnie Montrose

Change We Wanted to Believe In

Candidate Obama promised "change we can believe in." A fresh start with the Arab and Muslim worlds based on mutual respect. A healthcare public option. The closing of Guantanamo Bay. The repeal of Bush tax cuts for the rich. Comprehensive immigration reform. It seems we were all duped. See more broken promises here:

politifact's obama-meter

President Obama and his Democratic colleagues have left many of us disappointed and disillusioned. It's no wonder the U.S. ranks #120 in voter turnout.